T.G.I.F.

Can someone explain this whole Catholic thing with the cracker and the wine to me? Is Catholicism somehow based on ancient cannibalistic teachings? What's with 'consuming' the blood and the flesh? Isn't that a little primitive? A little barbaric? I know it's only symbolic, but c'mon, if your gonna mess with that kind of thing why not just practice voodoo? (note: Someone just told me that the two are kinda related. Maybe I'm smarter than I thought.)(Maybe not...)

That reminds me of a story...

A few years ago, Tommy was getting groupie action left, right and centre. He couldn't keep up. Which was odd because the band wasn't playin' a lot of gigs right about then. As a result cash was a bit tight. Being the brilliant business mind that he thinks he is, Tommy came up with a solution. He went off and had some meetings, got things set up and put the wheels in motion. One day Tommy shows up at band practice with three brown paper bags, one for everyone. He hands them out, telling everyone to open them at the same time. He explains how there must be some reason that all these chicks wanted him. And he's figured out what it was. Now he was gonna give every woman a chance to have what was so special about him. “Open 'em up” he said...and the other three guys opened their bags and pulled out exact latex replicas of Tommy's...


What? That happened to Warren Cuccurullo, too? Wow, that's a coincidence...Wait...who the f**k is Warren Cuccurullo? He was in Missing Persons and Duran Duran for a while? That's hardly metal guys...

Uh...ok...Dannii just told me that it happened to Warren Cuccu..whatever, but not Tommy. Dannii was lying to me when he told me it happened to Tommy. Bastards...they're always f***ing with me.

Anyway, the guys have done and seen it all, except for making dildos molded from their own units. That happened to that Warren guy. But he's cool, too. Well, maybe not so cool, but he probably has a big unit!

Ok. I gotta go now. But I'll be back with more shit you didn't know about Broken Toyz!

Later,
Eli Finkelstein (Cy's kid)