And it finally ends...

No more Stampede! So, today will be spent washing all the same clothes I wear for 10 days every year. The ones that smell like manure and sweat and, occasionally vomit. The long-sleeved silk 'blouses' with roses stitched into the pectoral area and piping lining my shoulders and arms. The Wrangler jeans that make my ass look like a pancake. The pointy-toed boots that give me blisters that last for two months reminding me of this horrible yearly ritual. The semen-stained underwear from dry-humping flirtatious, yet frigid, cowgirls from North Dakota. But I digress...

That reminds me of a story...

In the late 80's the Toyz did a lot of tours opening for big names (most of whom owed their success to the Toyz after stealing their songs...). Anyway, some times the band would end their legs of tours far from home. Instead of driving across the country, sometimes the band would fly back to the coast. One tour, Likki was flying back alone (he'd stayed an extra couple days to hang out with Bobbie Brown, the famous ex of many a musician...). Hating to travel alone, Likki decided to live the immortal words of Dokken's Wild Mick Brown - “There's only two ways to fly. Either really drunk or really stoned. Thankfully...I'm both.” About halfway through the flight, Likki got up to take a huge piss. But he stood for what seemed like ten minutes outside the occupied washroom, dancing and crossing his legs, waiting and waiting. It got to the point where he was pounding on the bathroom door, trying to get the occupant to vacate. Alas, nothing worked, so Likki took out his unit and started to...


What? That happened to Izzy Stradlin, too? He talked to a man about a mule in the galley of a commercial airliner, too? Wow, that's a coincidence...

Uh...ok...Johnny just told me that it happened to Izzy, but not Likki. Johnny was lying to me when he told me it happened to Likki. Likki didn't bleed his lizard in the middle of an airplane. Bastards...they're always f***ing with me.

Anyway, the guys have done and seen it all, except for taking a slash in front of everyone in an airplane. That happened to Izzy Stradlin. But he's cool, too. He told Axl to bite him!

Ok. I gotta go now. But I'll be back with more shit you didn't know about Broken Toyz!

Later,
Eli Finkelstein (Cy's kid)