Here comes Democracy...

No, I'm not talking politics, I'm referring, almost with disbelief, to the news that after 17 years, or so, a new album will be available on Sunday, November 23rd, from a little band called Guns 'n' Roses (or more accurately from bipolar disorder suffering frontman W. Axl Rose). With the input of about 27 revolving-door band members, none of whom were part of the original line-up (although "Use Your Illusion" keyboardist Dizzy Reed has been in and out of the line-up for years) there have been some fantastically creative minds winding their way through the songs included on this 80's metal albatross of an album. From Tommy Stinson and Robin Finck to Buckethead and Bumblefoot, the stories that will come out about the making of this album promise to be legendary.

That being said, some of the less musical, but nonetheless entertaining, stories involving the Gunners, in the past, have had no small influence from a certain bunch of rock 'n' roll animals called Broken Toyz. The infamous story of Axl making then-girlfriend Stephanie Seymour use a cat's litter box to relieve herself sounds like a terrible, cruel, inhumane story. That is, until you realize that said incident took place at the Toyz rehearsal space, which doubled as Likki Stixx living space. The old warehouse had no running water (nor any heat, and only intermittent power...) and hence no washroom , so Stixx, as a joke, had put the catbox out. This eventually became no joke, and was used regularly by the Toyz and visitors needing to take a piss, when the neighbourhood became infested by violent crackheads. Stepahnie was just being one of the boys, really.

Then there was the little incident on a commercial airliner where Izzy Stradlin' got busted for taking a piss in the main aisle of the plane. But you can't really blame him. The damned flight attendants had both beverage carts out, blocking Izzy's access to both washrooms. And, trust me, Izzy really needed to piss. He was, after all, traveling with Johnny Emaxx, and they'd been playing a drinking game called Centurion, where you try to drink one ounce of beer every minute for 100 straight minutes. There comes a point, somewhere just before 100 ounces where you feel like death is imminent unless you empty your bladder. Izzy had reached that point. What's a small-town Indiana boy to do but let it flow?

Just noticed something...most tales linking the Toyz to the Gunners involves bodily waste. That's kind of apt since the Guns career was the shit, while the Toyz career stayed in the toilet (that was terrible...who writes this junk?).

Signing off (for the last time, after this debacle?)...

Eli Finkelstein (Cy's kid)