Emaxx is the king?

Don't know why, but I was lying on the floor, the room spinning about me after way too many cocktails last night, and a thought, just one thought, kept running laps around my mostly-numb brain. Johnny Emaxx is Elvis. You heard me right. Somehow, the spirit of the King entered Emaxx's body on August 16, 1977, when he was but a young lad, strumming his first guitar. You may laugh, I know I did, until the snot flew from my nose, went three feet in the air then landed almost in my right eye, but let's take a step back and think about this.

- Elvis - 5 letters, starts with an 'E'.
- Emaxx - 5 letters, starts with an 'E'.


- Elvis - swiveled his hips and drove the young women crazy.
- Emaxx - drives the young girls crazy, because sometimes he needs a swivel to move his hips.

- Elvis - favorite food was a peanut and banana sandwich.
- Emaxx - has a fetish for smearing peanut butter on his women and violating them with a banana.

- Elvis - lean and mean in his youth, he put on 'a couple pounds' as he got older.
- Emaxx - lean and mean in his youth, he put on 'a couple pounds' when he quit smoking.

- Elvis - made a movie with Angela Lansbury called "Blue Hawaii", in '61.
- Emaxx - was blue in Hawaii when the only action he got was from Angela Lansbury, when she was 61.

- Elvis - was, reportedly, a black belt.
- Emaxx - always wears a black belt on stage.

- Elvis - had a next door neighbor, as a kid, who had a dog, whose mother was owned by a guy in Toledo, who had a cousin in Wichita, who worked in a bakery, which was owned by a guy who had a daughter named Louise, who he called, instead, Lucy.
- Emaxx - played in a band called Sweet Lucy.

As you can see, it is nothing if not obvious that the spirit, if not the actual soul, of Elvis Aaron Presley lives on in one Johnny Emaxx!

Ok, now that I am not nearly as smashed as I was when I started to write this, I can clearly see that I am totally full of shit. But at least I filled up this empty space and wasted a couple minutes of your time that you're never getting back.

Sorry...

Eli Finkelstein (Cy's kid)