Musical chairs

After ruminating last week on the shape of the line-up in the absence of Tommy Gunns, today we look forward to yet another configuration of the parts that make up the rock juggernaut that is Broken Toyz. Likki Stixx is off, for a stretch, to New Orleans. He is too modest to admit it, but I think he's off to help in the completion of a project started by Brad Pitt and his creepy wife (I know you all thing she's hot, but I think she looks like a female Mrs. Potatohead, none of her features go together), to build new housing for people displaced by Hurricane Katrina, 3 years ago. That, or he's going to test the theory that the Big Easy has the best tranny hookers in the world, take your pick.

In the meantime, that means that the line-up is likely to see Johny Emaxx acting as the de facto frontman. This should prove to be interesting, what with his tenuous relationship with the rest of humanity. When Emaxx loves you, you're a made man (or a lucky woman), but the only thing that hath fury worse than a woman scorned is an unhappy or irritated Emaxx, so fireworks could be the order of the day. Likely seeing expanded vocal duties, and an larger presence on bass, will be Dannii Lee Damage. While he doesn't feel the need for more time in the spotlight, due to the attention he will end up being the recipient of more shots from his adoring female fans. Which, in turn, means instead of keeping the company of two or three of these lovely ladies, his alcohol-fueled libido (...and...) will require many, many more options for its satisfaction, leaving those of us who usually pick up his scraps wanting. J.J. Gunns, as is always the case when the boys are in need, will step into the limelight, shredding some notes and belting out some tasty lead vox. Unlike the majority of his other appearances, when he's spelling his older (faux-)brother, he will be competing for the attention of the women who come to worship at Tommy's feet, affectionately known as "The Gunn Club". We figure that J.J. will do just fine, though, mainly due to his youthful ability to 're-load' quicker. This all means that, not just for a song or two but for the whole night, Tommy Gunns will be keeping time and laying it down for the band. We all know he's down with the rhythm (or at least the rhythm method, no little Gunns out there anywhere despite his myriad conquests), so we know he'll keep things on track. Besides, what better way to remind the ladies in the audience of his mastery of the stick(s).

We'll certainly miss the energy and personality Likki brings to each and every show, not to mention his perky little pierced nipples, but make no mistake the other Toyz will do all they can to ensure you get your heavy metal rocks off. And if they don't succeed, they'll just try and get you really drunk, so you don't notice.

See y'all later...

Eli Finkelstein (Cy's kid)