I'm not going to bring up any names here, but one of our boys must have a new woman in his life. One of his neighbors is a 'garbologist' and it seems that he's been going through one of our boys' trash for years, mostly without incident. But recently he's been finding signs that someone's love life has taken some new twists and a few turns.

Without going through the whole laundry list, a few of the more interesting items can be grouped into three groups - plastics, pet supplies and miscellaneous. In the plastics category we find female condoms, finger condoms, dental dams, rubber gloves, a plastic raincoat and an old hockey goal mask. Seems that our beloved Toy was having intimate relations with someone who he didn't want to make any contact with, anywhere! Unless he playing 'bugger my toe' with her. The pet supplies suggest someone who need to be treated like a dog...or a pony...or a hamster? There was a leash and collar (a flea collar, too), a small leather saddle and harness, and a plastic hamster tunnel (was Richard Gere in for a visit?). As for miscellaneous, we're not sure if this stuff was for use in the bedroom or the kitchen. The list of findings include cucumbers with the ends carved into little animal heads, 27 empty cans of whipped cream, a slip and slide coated in Mazola oil, a "Kiss the Cook" apron coated in chicken blood and 8 pickled cherry tomatoes strung on a length of fishing line that looked suspiciously like soft anal beads.

Now, don't get me wrong I'm all for experimentation. In fact I'm a little pissed that Damage, uh...I mean the anonymous Toy, kept his friends all to himself. Some guys have all the fun.

Hasta manana...

Eli Finkelstein (Cy's kid)