The good life

Some days you crawl out of bed and wonder how you're still alive. Your head hurts, your low back is killing you, your nose is running. You're a complete mess. The stress and challenges of life beat you down, day after day. You wonder if you can make it through another day. But, you do and that's life.

At least that's life for you and I. Then there's Tommy Gunns. The health and vitality of a man of 18 in the body of a man who is 4 or 5 times that age. How does he do it? Well it goes back to a post from last week, when I explained about his financial fortunes. Because of his unlimited funds he has been able to exist on a diet that consists of only three items. But those three items provide him with the purest, most life-giving nutrients on the planet.

The only thing he eats that is grown in the earth are a rare truffle, grown at the equator, on an eastern facing mountain-side in Ecuador, where the sun is in the sky for the exact same amount of time all 365 days of the year. Hand picked by Benedictine monks who have never been corrupted by the touch of female flesh. The only flesh he consumes (aside from the odd groupie...) is from deep-water whitefish, caught in the far north, above the Arctic Circle, under the polar ice-cap, never touched by the rays of the sun. Caught by Inuit priests who freedive under the ice, naked, catching the fish with their bare hands. And the only fluid he drinks (aside from shooters on Tuesday nights...) is breast milk from the virgin mothers of children born in mangers in the Holy Land (seems this is not that rare of an occurrence...). As a result his body is truly treated like a temple. We should all be so lucky.

So the next time you feel like ass, and you see Tommy stride by with his step full of life, don't hate him. If you had the means and the discipline to follow the same strict, and shall we say exotic, diet and lifestyle, you, too, could have that glow. But, you don't...

Until we meet again...

Eli Finkelstein (Cy's kid)