14 August 2008

Back on track

Well, after a few weeks of turbulence and unrest, rumours of breakups and dissention, recovery from over-indulgence and cosmetic penis surgery, Tuesday's show at Morgan's finally saw the return of the (basically) original lineup of everyone's favorite band of hair metal ambassadors, the only the only (currently...) Broken Toyz!

The buzz was palpable early on as a group of topless revelers made their presence felt. Unfortunately, they were all guys. 10:30 came and went and the band had not yet hit the stage. Had there been a flare up back stage? Had egos again come in the way of the band's quest for world domination? There must be a good reason for this, right? Then all of a sudden Tommy Gunns was sporting a bra on his head and we knew all was well in the land of the Toyz.

Dannii Lee Damage's mating call (for shooooots...) echoed through the room, Johnny Emaxx hooked up his Budweiser IV, Tommy Gunns flexed his Pubococcygeus muscle, and Likki Stixx had his shirt off in record time. Yes, it all felt just as it should.

The obvious highlight of the night was the bands swan song-like finale. A rousing twenty-seven minute medley of songs designed to remove women's clothing and send the guys in the room screaming with their hands over their ears. The band maximized their chances of scoring by altering the composition of the room from sausage party to taco party. A shrewd and well-rehearsed practice that again cemented the bands reputation as masters of their tools and their instruments, as well.

A brief warning for those of you in Jasper (like anyone in that erudite community ever even reads this...), lock up your mothers and hide your prescription meds, the Toyz are about to invade on Saturday night. Good Luck.

I bid you adieu, my liege.

Eli Finkelstein (Cy's kid)

No comments: