Ride 'em cowboy...

What the hell is the excitement about this stupid Calgary Stampede? A bunch of guys in funny hats and pointy boots riding cows and horses? And somehow it's supposed to be this 'dangerous', manly sport? Tell you what go hang out in the Holyland with bombs going off and stupid shit like that. Just going to the store for a Slurpee is a lot more dangerous than going in the rodeo. Silly goyim.

That reminds me of a story...

It was 1989 and band was playing a Halloween gig in Fargo, North Dakota. It was a shitty gig, there were like 8 people there (They were opening for Pretty Boy Floyd, what did you expect?). Anyway, Johnny hated playing with that f**cking Steve “Sex” Summers guy, so he was getting absolutely smashed so he could deal with it. The show starts and Johnny rips into “Toast of the Town” a song PBF did on their record but it was a Motley Crue song, and that really pissed Johnny off, 'cause people were always ripping the Toyz stuff off, too. So the Floyders come out from backstage when they hear this and start throwing shit at Johnny: empty beer cans, dirty stage clothes, used condoms, whatever they could get their hands on. Then something flies in from the side of the stage but misses Johnny, landing at his feet. He stops playing leans over and bites it. He tosses part of it back at the Floyders, in anger , then spits out the rest into his hand. He f**cking nearly faints when he sees the head of a...

What? That happened to Ozzy, too? Ozzy bit the head off of a bat? Crazy shit like that always seemed to happen to Ozzy. Wow, that's a coincidence...

Uh...ok...Likki just told me that never happened to Johnny, it only happened to Ozzy. Likki was lying to me when he told me it happened to Johnny. Bastards...they're always f***ing with me.

Anyway, the guys have done and seen it all, except for biting the heads of bats. That happened to Ozzy. But he's cool, too. Well, he was. Too bad he's married to that crazy woman, and had two f**ked up kids (and one not so crazy)!

Ok. I gotta go now. But I'll be back with more shit you didn't know about Broken Toyz!

Later,
Eli Finkelstein (Cy's kid)