Bringing the Heat

It's starting to feel like winter is here to stay. The door was closed, and the shrinkage was widespread, in the Toyz dressing room Tuesday night. You couldn't see your breath in the air or anything, but there certainly was a chill in the air. But, luckily for the boys, they had their secret weapon. Johnny Emaxx.

Guaranteed to take the chill off any frosty room, or relationship, Emaxx can heat things up in a hurry. Once you learn the right button(s) to push, just fire him up and stay out of his way. Our favorite (not-so-)little ball of anger will heat things up while you watch, like a human nuclear reactor. Bring up that promoter who stiffed the band out of a negotiated fee...the inner core fires up, the glow starts behind his eyes. We're warming up. Hey guys, remember the ridiculous quote we got for production on that show in Alabama? Oh yeah... the waves of heat start to emanate from the very core of his being. Like staring down an Arizona highway, you're not sure if that demon you see in the distance, wavering, taunting, is really a mirage or if in fact you are in the presence of pure evil. Then, all it takes is the smallest of slights...did that clerk at the 7-11 stiff me on my change from that travel-size bottle of "Gee, Your Hair Smells Terrific"? And there you have it... complete and total meltdown. An all consuming wave of rage-fueled vitriol. Make sure there's some kind of cover between you and Emaxx, but marvel at the intense, awe-inspiring power of it all...

Anyway, a shot of Jack and a Bud later, and all is forgotten. But, let me tell you, a performance like that can warm your heart. And singe your eyebrows. It must be seen to be fully appreciated.

So long, farewell...

Eli Finkelstein (Cy's kid)