Damage control

I don't know what it is. This Damage guy is like a magnet for controversy. First there was the Paris Hilton-trademarked pout thing, then there was the 'what?' moment of the 'he's a vampire' issue. Now, in a much farther reaching scandal, Damage's past may be coming back to bite him on the ass. Thrusting him not just into the gossip columns, but into the very halls of power of the United States government, via the current Presidential campaign.

Yes, the rumours are out there. Recently named Republican Vice-President candidate Sarah Palin has already had numerous issues to deal with, not the least of which is the pregnancy of her unwed seventeen year-old daughter Bristol. Well, on an even more controversial note, it has now been put out into the conspiracy ether that Bristol is in fact the love child of Governor Palin and none other than Toyz keysman/guitarist/bassist/vocalist/man-whore Dannii Lee Damage.

Word is that, in 1990, while Broken Toyz were touring Alaska, in support of their never-released album "She's Hot and Heavenly, but Cold as Hell", Palin couldn't resist the charms of Mr. Damage after she'd seen him kill a moose with nothing more than his B.C. Rich Warlock bass, then skin it with his bare hands. The couple came together in a cataclysmic one-night stand and the fruits of that tryst are Palin's currently pregnant teen. Damage has since adopted an abstinence-only stance in regards to the unwed, so the rumours of him, being the father of Bristol's unborn child are obviously untrue. We'll keep you apprised as new details emerge.

Till then...

Eli Finkelstein (Cy's kid)