The Damage is done?

The rumour mill never ceases to churn when it comes to this band. I got it on the down low that there are new rumblings that none other than Toyz multi-instrumentalist (and mentalist?) Dannii Lee Damage is, wait for it...a vampire. Now, if you're like me, you know that is ridiculous. Everyone knows there's only one creature that can drain the life out of you and leave you for dead. Paris Hilton (ok, and the CCRA).

Despite the obvious fact that Dannii is not Paris, although, as mentioned in this blog before, there is a striking resemblance between Damage and the new, female Anti-Christ, there are some things that bear out the suspicions. First off, vampires are supposedly averse to garlic. Well, last week I was gnawing on a bulb of garlic (for medicinal purposes, of course) and the next thing you know, Damage can't even carry on a face to face conversation with me. Coincidence? I think not!

Then, as I was filming the band last night, I noticed that Damage did his best to spend as much time as possible on the opposite side of the stage from Johnny Emaxx. Was Emaxx lacking in good personal hygiene? No (well, maybe...), but he WAS wearing a large silver crucifix around his neck. And we all know that is yet another weapon that is reportedly useful in fighting bloodsuckers.

Thirdly, while watching last night's footage, I noticed how deathly pale white Damage was, almost like a corpse. Doesn't direct sunlight cause severe burning on the undead? Hmmm. Of course, standing next to the improbably tan Tommy Gunns, even George Hamilton would look pale, so that may not mean anything, either.

Back to reality, though, we all know that Damage can't be a vampire. We all know that vampires drink your blood through extra long canine teeth, and lucky for Damage he has two full plates of dentures. No plasma-sucking, life-draining action going on with those chompers.

That isn't to say, however, that Damage isn't an energy-sucking psychic vampire like his 212 year-old buddy Likki Stixx. I'm just sayin'...

Tune in next time to rumour central, right here with the Toyz. Ciao...

Eli Finkelstein (Cy's kid)